Ride with Yuri Gargarin
by RowenaR
Summary: River watches. River observes. River thinks about Mal and Inara. Written for my Holiday Fic Reqest Meme on LJ.


**Author:** RowenaR

**Rating:** K+

**Category:** gen

**Disclaimer:** Firefly... not mine because if it had been, the dinosaurs would still be talking with Wash's voice.

**Summary: **River watches. River observes. River thinks about Mal and Inara.**  
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**A/N: **Holiday Fic Request Meme. This was one of the tough cookies. I attempted to write Firefly before, after BDM but never finished it. So this is my virgin fic for this fandom (I seem to be doing this a lot in that meme...). It's... erm interesting that it's River of all people because characters like her are usually not what I write but I was tasked with writing this so I did. How did I do?

Anyway, as always: Not a native speaker, so please excuse any weird grammatical constructions, run-ons and typos. Feedback will earn you a cookie, flames will roast my marshmellows.

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><p><strong>Ride with Yuri Gargarin<strong>

"_I wanted to ride  
>With Yuri Gagarin as he circled<br>All around my world. Lying under  
>The covers. Radio on. Settle<br>Down with Caroline as she sailed  
>All summer long. Sweetheart of<br>The Rodeo. Mining Hearts of Gold."_

_Runrig, "Hearthammer"_

River sees and River watches. River observes. River calculates. Trajectory, speed, objects in motion. Unstoppable force and immovable object. When the Captain steps forward, 'Nara changes course. When 'Nara stays put, the Captain is on collision course. All weaving together, never making sense. Magnets that push away each other, always facing each other on the wrong side. Why do magnets face each other on the wrong side?

River Tam knows all about magnetism. Her brother and Kaylee, they're magnets. She can see the pull between them, can touch it, taste it. It's easy. It's not a mess of waves and currents and courses. River can't decipher the Captain and 'Nara. It's making her fidgety. She can figure out everything and everyone else. She's not used to not seeing through things and people.

She thought after Miranda, things would be easier. Sadder because Wash is not here and the dinosaurs don't talk anymore but easier. It's not. It's Zoe being sad and Jayne being gruff and her brother and Kaylee being together but she can deal with that. Zoe wants to be sad alone and Jayne has never been anything else than gruff. Her brother is happy with Kaylee and that makes River happy. But the Captain and 'Nara, they're not. They're magnets facing each other with the wrong side.

They confuse her. She doesn't know why they keep doing it, why they keep fighting and then being nice to each other, after Miranda. After Miranda, River thought, things would be clear. They were clear to her. Miranda taught her that life is sad and sudden and that she is scary to everyone but herself. It taught her that none of that mattered if you were with the right crew. River thought the Captain and 'Nara realized they're the right crew for each other.

Instead they push each other away and around, even though they'd just have to turn around and look. River doesn't blame them for not succeeding. They'd have to navigate strange waters and she doesn't blame anyone for being afraid of that. She's not Jayne. But she does blame them for not trying. Not trying is not permissible. Not trying means giving up. The only thing she ever gave up on is giving up.

She blinks and looks out into the Black. River knows she shouldn't do that for too long because the Black will start looking back so she hold its gaze as long as she can and turns back to the dinosaurs. They make her sad because they don't move but it's better than the unrelenting Black... River blinks again. They don't move. But they used to. By Wash's hands. If you can move dinosaurs with your hands... can't you move humans with your thoughts? Can't you turn around magnets so they face each other with the right side?

It would not be easy, River knows that. She would need help. Kaylee and Simon and Jayne. Maybe she would even need Zoe's help. Most definitely she would need Zoe's help. It would not be easy but Miranda wasn't easy, either. They survived Miranda. They can very well survive turning two magnets. Tentatively, she reaches out towards one of the dinosaurs.

There are boots behind her and she recoils, feeling she was about to do something off limits the Captain would be mad about at her. He doesn't feel mad when he sits down in the chair next to hers. He grins. She thinks if he looked that more often at 'Nara maybe she would stop pushing against him and start pulling. A bullet point on a to do list appears in her mind.

The Captain looks at her again. His mood changes and she thinks it's her fault but instead of scolding her, he just pats the back of her chair and drawls, "Hey little albatross, don't worry 'bout the course. Captain's got it all under control." River smiles. He has no idea.


End file.
